From The Confessional: Some Husbands Rock—The Rest Should Take Notes

Hey husbands! Yes, we’re talking to you. Put down your phone and video game controller and golf club and the remote and listen. You know it doesn’t actually take too much to get on the “good husband” list, right? Like, if you see your exhausted wife washing dishes at 10 p.m., covered in baby spit-up, leaking milk through the shirt she’s been wearing for three days, how about gently taking her hand, offering to wash the damn dishes, and suggesting she go lie on the couch and watch Bravo? Or tell her you’ll take care of things if she wants to shower? Or just give her a hug and say, “You’re amazing”??

Why is this shit hard for so many husbands?

At the end of the day, more than likely, your wife wants to be seen. She wants to be validated. She might feel invisible and unappreciated as she does everything for everyone else all fucking day. As she washes and wipes and feeds and washes and wipes and feeds… or maybe she’s at work all day and feels like she wants to bang her head against the wall when she walks in at 5:00 and sees an overflowing kitchen garbage can and poop floaters in the toilet.

Guys, do you know the power of the words “What do you need?” Do you know how sexy it is when we see you being a loving dad to the kids? When you grab a new diaper and change the baby or sit down and help the 4th grader with math homework without being asked? Or without expecting a big thank you parade after because you know that we do that shit all the fucking time and there’s no parade for us?

So, if you’re an awesome husband rocking this partnership thing, keep it up. We see you. But if you’re not, and you need a little push, check out these confessions from women raving about their awesome spouses. Take some notes. Your wife might post a confession about you someday—is it going to be “My husband is the best!” or “My husband sucks at life and my favorite moments of the day are when he’s not here and I don’t have to look at his sorry ass.” Your choice!

Things that are sexy: Helping with the kids, helping around the house, not being a dick.

When you’re a good husband, you’re more likely to have good, hot sex with your wife. Everybody wins!

A good husband supports his wife and recognizes the value of teamwork. That might mean he takes care of the kids while she works. Or he vacuums while she cooks dinner. Or he folds laundry while she gives the kids a bath. (Or, better yet, since she was up all damn night, he folds laundry while she NAPS.)

Also, if you want to be on the good list, make us feel special. Don’t tell us we’re nuts. Don’t tell us we’re over-reacting. Don’t take your mother’s side over ours. Just be a friend and bring us a pumpkin spice latte on the first day of fall if that’s what makes us happy.

And we need you to support us on whatever “endeavors” we embark upon.

Help out without being asked. This is a big one. Like actually see that there’s a pile of dirty laundry on the floor, physically bend over, and pick it up. (Especially if you want us to bend over later, mkay?)

But most of all, be a good dad. That’s the best way to get your wife to gush about you to the world. Do the work, pitch in, take the baby, wipe their ass, feed them a bottle, take the kids fishing, read books with them at bedtime, have a tea party, let your wife sleep. Do all of it. And let us see how much you love doing all of it.

That’s how you do the good husband thing, guys.

And then you might find out that your wife confessed something like this for all the world to see.