Your 40s are a weird and wild time. On the one hand, we’re settling into that IDGAF about what other people think attitude. We are getting more comfortable with who we are and what we want, and less comfortable putting up with bullshit and nonsense. It’s a beautiful thing.
On the other hand, your 40s are also scary and awkward. We care less about things that don’t matter, but we care a lot more about the things that do. We are forced to confront – in brutal and shocking ways – the realities of mortality, our own and the people we love. Your body starts to do funky and odd things. And just when we feel like we have this – whatever this is – figured out, everything up and changes.
Bottom line: your 40s are confusing AF and you ask yourself a ton of questions. Like…
1. Am I having an appendicitis or is it just cramps?
Thanks to perimenopause, we might be writhing in pain while Googling symptoms of appendicitis only to realize that it’s cramps from the unexpectedly early arrival of our period. Which brings us to our next question…
2. Didn’t I just have my period two weeks ago?
Yes, yes I did. But again, that fun friend, perimenopause, our period is more unpredictable, frequent, and heavy than ever. Which is super fun.
3. WTF is my teen talking about?
“I’m gonna be AFK for a minute.”
“Why you such a sweat?”
Huh?!? What are these words coming out of my teen’s mouth when he’s gaming with his friends? Be careful with this one though, because if you ask your teen what they are talking about, they’ll look at you like you have two heads.
6. Should I get Botox, or embrace the wrinkles?
At some point, those cute little laugh lines turn into giant craters. You don’t want to care about your looks, but the truth is you kinda do. You want to say “fuck all those bullshit standards of conventional beauty created by the patriarchy” and wear caftans every day while rocking your grey hair. But… it’s hard. Botox just seems easier. If only it weren’t so damn expensive.
4. Does everyone hate me or is it just hormones?
One day your trucking along, everything is a-okay, you feel comfortable with your life and your relationships and then – BAM! – you feel like the world is falling apart and everyone hates you and your life is a series of failures and mistakes. You become convinced that you’re are a real-life Eeyore with a dark rain cloud following you around. And then your period arrives (out of schedule, of course) and it all makes sense. Your hormones are fucking with you again.
5. Were people always this maddening?
I don’t know if it is the realities of the past few years, or it just took me until my 40s to wake up (or maybe a little of both), but MY GOD, nearly every day I ask myself, why are people such assholes? I’m an optimistic at heart and truly believe in the goodness of humanity, but the Lord is testing me, man. Really testing me.
6. Should I go back to school? Quit my job? Dye my hair pink?
Take that IDGAF attitude and combine with the stark realization that life is super fucking short, and you start to question certain life choices. When you stop caring so much about what others think, and more about what you want, a whole world of options opens up. Like pink hair. Caftans. And Taylor Swift music.
7. Am I the only one?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: No, you absolutely are not the only one. We’re all confused and don’t know quite what to make of these new stage of life. Stop let go of the idea that we need to have things figured out by the time we’re in our 40s. Life is wild and weird. Embrace it. Even if it does mean we ask ourselves a million questions every day.